3 on Thursday - Euphemisms for Sex
They're silly. They're funny. They're certainly not purple prose. I'm talking about euphemisms for sex. There is the mattress mambo, the horizontal hula...*sleeping* (right) together.
We've all used them, at one time or another. Sometimes so the 'adults' near us wouldn't know what we were talking about. Sometimes because we thought they were funny. There have been euphemisms for sex for as long as there has been sex...and that's a long time. Historically, there have been euphemisms like 'basket making' (what?!?) and even 'face making' (because, yanno, you make faces during...and then babies can come and babies have faces and...what??? once more time.
So, without further ado: today's 3 on Thursday: the funniest euphemisms for sex.
3. Blanket hornpipe. Okay, this is one of those historical euphemisms. It's from the 1800s and...I've got nothin' else. But can you imagine using this in conversation?!?
2. Doing the wild thing. Hey, I'm a child of the '80s, what can I say. We thought it was hilarious and oh-so-sneaky to say 'doing the wild thing' so our parents wouldn't know what our friends (not us, never us!) were doing when we were late for curfew.
1. Do the dance ... with no pants. This one just cracks me up. I can't say it without a little giggle or smirk. And I blame Sheldon Cooper. Totally.
We've all used them, at one time or another. Sometimes so the 'adults' near us wouldn't know what we were talking about. Sometimes because we thought they were funny. There have been euphemisms for sex for as long as there has been sex...and that's a long time. Historically, there have been euphemisms like 'basket making' (what?!?) and even 'face making' (because, yanno, you make faces during...and then babies can come and babies have faces and...what??? once more time.
So, without further ado: today's 3 on Thursday: the funniest euphemisms for sex.
3. Blanket hornpipe. Okay, this is one of those historical euphemisms. It's from the 1800s and...I've got nothin' else. But can you imagine using this in conversation?!?
2. Doing the wild thing. Hey, I'm a child of the '80s, what can I say. We thought it was hilarious and oh-so-sneaky to say 'doing the wild thing' so our parents wouldn't know what our friends (not us, never us!) were doing when we were late for curfew.
1. Do the dance ... with no pants. This one just cracks me up. I can't say it without a little giggle or smirk. And I blame Sheldon Cooper. Totally.
So, those are my top 3, how about you? What is your favorite silly/weird/downright yukky euphemism for sex?
I've heard one that sounds horrible, bumping uglies.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'd forgotten that one!
DeleteDon't know if it's funny, but since I started writing romance, we now call sex - researching (Don't come over, we're researching). But I guess a lot of writers probably use that one, huh?
ReplyDeleteLol, Stacy, that's hilarious!!!
DeleteMaking the Beast with Two Backs.
ReplyDeleteI *never* say that - but I when I read this post, that is what popped into my head.
What a fun post!
ha! That is a funny one...not one I've ever used. But it conjures all sorts of images!! Thanks for sharing, Irene!
DeleteWhat popped into my head wasn't exactly euphamisms for sex (although these could be used that way) but military personnels' sly descriptors for their jobs. For example, "divers do it deeper," or "Seabees do it with tools." There are hundreds of these one-liners, as each military job rating tries to one up the rest of the rates.
ReplyDeleteha! Those are fun references. I forget where we were but I saw a guy wearing a surf shop tee that read 'Big Dick's (really tiny script - Dive Shop) Go Deeper'. I've never forgotten that tee, Rue.
DeleteLove Sheldon!! I'm an 80's child too and can so remember doing 'the wild thing', lol! Fun post, Kristina!
ReplyDeleteOh, the 80s...good times, Jennifer!
DeleteSheldon is one of my all-time favorites. It's gotta be so fun playing him.
ReplyDeleteRemember on Grumpy Old Men when the oldest guy (the little grandpa) stood there spouting funny euphemisms? LOL
After many years of marriage, my hubby came up with what has to be the most boring euphemism of all: One morning after the kids left for school, he yelled from the bedroom and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was working, and asked what he was doing. "Nothing" was his reply. And then he got offended when I didn't join him. Later we communicated and apparently "nothing" is now our "code" that is apparently supposed to rev my engine and send me racing his way.
See why we need romance novels? LOL
*probably so people don't go around giving out TMI on blog comments, right?* ;)
bahaha, Piper. Nothing, indeed!
DeleteLove the euphemisms and I love Sheldon and the way he explains between the sheets antics.
ReplyDeleteShelden is awesome, isn't her, Suzi? I just love him - he totally makes the show.
DeleteWhen I was in college one of my roommates used to call it "hiding the salami". Kind of sheds new light on sub sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteGreat topic Kristina.
Oohh, Gemma...I will *never* be able to look at a sub sandwich the same!!
DeleteI liked this post, but I seem to be a euphemistic blank--I can't come up with a thing!
ReplyDeleteYou'll think of something - probably at the most inopportune time.
DeleteI'm a recent Big Bang convert, so I hadn't seen this clip. Gotta love Sheldon. Unfortunately, me and the hubs are very prosaic. You've inspired me to want to come up with a fun euphemism for sex now!. Great post.
ReplyDeleteHa, Jenna! You just need young kids around your house again. Oh, wait, I didn't just say that..nevermind. lol
DeleteI came across a historical reference that cracked me up; dipping the wick.
ReplyDeleteAnd because I have several family members that are electricians, I frequently hear things like, "Let an electrician check your shorts."
A couple I know were caught in mid-action by one of their children. In response to "what are you doing?" the father answered, "Go back to bed. We're just having a meeting." Would that all meetings were that much fun.
ReplyDeleteOh, my gosh! Can't think of a single thing besides "making babies" and "doing the dirty." Interesting topic! And I do love The Big Bang Theory!
ReplyDelete